Nostalgia

I'm missing my Jordan this week. I miss it every week but this week more than usual. Something about being on vacation with old friends, smelling old smells of earth and water and simplicity brought back memories of moments I wish I was still living in.

My year in Jordan seems so far away...another lifetime really because so much has happened since I returned. It's funny because I still find myself experiencing moments of culture shock. Moments when I realize I'm asking someone for the third time if they're sure they want or don't want something because saying it once implies I don't mean it. Or when Arabic phrases come faster than the English ones. And then my taxi driver was from Morocco last night. It would happen on the week that I'm missing my Jordan the most wouldn't it. It was great to talk a little Arabic and pretend I haven't forgotten so much. And then I spent the night dreaming in Arabic and woke up missing it more than ever.

I want to go back but I question if the life I'm living now would be compatible with life there. Some say it would be but I find myself cringing at the thought of running on treadmills just as much as I'm cringing at the thought of running outside - fatheha (scandalous!)! I guess I really edited myself while I was there without even really knowing it.

But I still love my Jordan and I still wish I was back there living that life of difficult simplicity.